There are nights in Frisco where City Hall hums with civic purpose—budget talks and zoning plans along with the occasional citizen input regarding traffic lights, speeding issues, or the raccoon has taken a liking to someone’s yard and gives them the side-eye. December 2nd was not that night.

In a developing story that has left political scientists, veterinarians, and three confused squirrels scratching their heads, two former council members marched into Frisco City Council Meeting on December 2^nd to take on the mic at Citizens Input.  They delivered what experts are calling “the strongest recorded case of post-election butthurt in city history.”

That’s right it was open mic night for sore losers, who still think their name plates are waiting for them like a forgotten pair of sunglasses at Lost & Found.

Eyewitnesses tell us Bill Woodard and Tracie Reveal Shipman, strutted into the chamber like they were about to perform a cover of “Glory Days.”  When Bobblehead Bill’s name was called for Citizens Input he approached the podium like he was a man who just discovered someone else parked in his old council seat and that lead to him having a full-blown emotional support tantrum disguised as “citizen input.”

Frisco Chronicles took the time to break down Bill at the Mic:

Act 1: Bobblehead Bill may have gained a new nickname “Patron Saint of Selective Outrage”

Bill took over that podium with the confidence of a man who still introduces himself as “Former Council Member” at dinner parties.  And boy did he come ready to lecture like a college professor.  He launched into a monologue so dramatic; I checked my phone twice to make sure Netflix hadn’t started auto playing a reboot of The West Wing.

He reminded us—several times—of his 20+ years of service in his neighborhood scouts, various non-profits and clubs and course his 17 years of volunteer work for the city.  Of course, he started off talking about himself because he thought that was impressive kind of like your uncle at Thanksgiving who recounts his high school athletic stats.    

Bill Woodard: “In all my years on that dais one of the things I was most proud of was the professionalism the various board and council members exhibited. No matter what our personal relationships were, positive or strained, whether we all agreed on a topic or had differing opinions, when it came time to step foot on the dais everyone was professional.

Frisco Chronicles: What does Bill mean by “when it came time to step on the dais everyone was professional?”  Is he referring to how they had all the discussions in executive session, so they had a united front on the dais in order to make it look professional?

Bill Woodard: When traveling to represent the city, everyone was professional. Certainly, there have been times for levity and to show a more relaxed side, but when it matters, everyone was professional.

Frisco Chronicles: Would Bill testify under oath that the behavior of Jake Petras in Colorado was appropriate, professional and represented the city well?

Bill Woodard: In the last 6 months, however, I have observed or been made aware of the following which concern me for the reputation of the city and more specifically this council.

Frisco Chronicles: In the last 6 months?  You only became concerned about the citys reputation and the council’s reputation in the last 6 months?  Mr. Woodard – why were you not concerned when the following events happened (source local news reports):

In 2017, Deputy Mayor Pro Tem Tim Nelson was arrested and charged with driving while intoxicated after a traffic stop where police alleged, he was swerving across lanes on a highway.  Allegedly the incident occurred shortly after his wife was arrested for allegedly for assault bodily injury family violence. 

In 2021, when Current Revolt published photos of John Keating Place 1 who allegedly got caught over the July 4^th holiday weekend in a community public pool with a woman who was not his wife.

In 2021, when Councilman John Keating, Place 1 (now mayoral candidate) held up a sign during a Rail District Scavenger Hunt with the words “GET NAKED” covering his genital area creating the appearance he was naked (luckily, he had boxer shorts on).  Wasn’t that you Mr. Woodard, the Mayor and the Mayor’s wife snickering in the picture?

Back to our point and question, you only became concerned about the city’s reputation and the council’s reputation in the last 6 months? 

Act II – Woodard’s Scroll of Sins

Woodard began listing out a scroll of sins he was concerned about seeing over the last 6 months which in our opinion should have their own zip code:

Bill Woodard – Sin # 1: A wildly inappropriate, if not racist, joke told on the dais.

Frisco Chronicles: Was it appropriate?  We don’t know and we don’t care.  It was a joke that no one has talked about since.  If it made the city look so bad, why would you come to citizens’ input to bring it up again?

Bill Woodard – Sin # 2: A council member on an exchange trip was wearing shorts as an official representative of the city, when clearly this was not appropriate attire for the meeting.

Frisco Chronicles: Picture #1 of Jared Elad in shorts on a city trip standing two people down from another man in a pair of shorts.  Where was your disdain for this man wearing shorts?  Picture #2 another trip where Jason Young is wearing shorts, is this inappropriate for man who uses his voice to represent our city so much?  Picture # 3 – What about you at Didi’s wearing you City of Frisco polo in shorts holding what appears to be libations?

Frisco Chronicles: Ah yes, Bill Woodard, Frisco’s self-appointed Hall Monitor-in-Chief, called out Burt Thakur for a critical infraction: post-meeting bunny ears.  Arrest Him Now!  According to Bill, Thakur’s two-finger salute to whimsy has single-handedly “damaged the professionalism of the council.”  

Bill Woodard – Sin # 3: “Bunny ears” behind people on camera after a council meeting

Frisco Chronicles: Bill, what about the time (during a meeting) when Councilman Keating held up a big picture on a stick of his face – you didn’t seem outraged then by the whimsy fun?  What happens after a meeting is over offends you?

Relax, Bill. The meeting was already adjourned, democracy survived, and no one mistook the gesture for official city business. If a harmless photo gag rattles the watchdog kennel this much, maybe the real problem isn’t professionalism… it’s a tragic shortage of humor vitamins.

Bill Woodard – Sin #4:  Use of Chatgpt to figure out what questions to ask during a work session (yes, people can see what you are doing).  It shows an utter lack of preparedness.

Frisco Chronicles: First, who knew this event even happened?  No one!  At least not until you felt the need to come to council to point it out like a bully in a roid rage.  Many industries use ChatGPT today, including government.  Isn’t this the city leadership who continues to talk about INNOVATION, using TECHNOLOGY to make our city better? 

Bill, if I recall, you were accused once of scrolling Facebook during a work session?  Two new council members who are trying to learn the ropes, one or both may use AI for assistance and that is bad?  I commend them for the innovation to use it.  

Bill Woodard – Sin #5: Absences and Tardiness. I’ve counted more meetings in the last 6 months where members were noticeably late, wholly absent from, or left early, from meetings than I can remember in years.  Personally, I missed 3 meetings in 9 years, and less than that in the 6 years prior on P&Z.

While I understand work commitments the citizens of Frisco expect and deserve representatives show up to do the work. On time and prepared. It’s not only disrespectful to the citizens, but to colleagues and the staff who tirelessly work for everyone.

Frisco Chronicles: We agree!  Shocked?  Unlike Bill Woodard here we don’t sit and count every meeting because who has the time to do that?  Maybe someone who wishes they were still sitting on the council?  We don’t know who has been absent or tardy, but they should be on time, and they should respect that seat that citizens voted them to sit in.  However just because you had near perfect attendance that does not set the precedent for what others must do.  You are not the judge and jury of that and again the public probably would not have even noticed until you came to the podium to embarrass our council.

Act III – The Public Scolding Continues

Bill Woodard: The train was not out of steam and Bill Woodard kept on going.  He continued, Jared and Burt, in the last couple of meetings the two of you look like elementary school kids, at times poking each other and joking around during meetings. It’s one thing to have a side bar for purpose, it is another to act the way you do in front of the public during a meeting. Your actions have an unprofessional appearance.”

Frisco Chronicles: Mr. Woodard do you think your behavior at citizen’s input was professional?  Scolding sitting members of our council as a former councilman?  Did you ever reach out to them privately to see if you could help them with the transition to their new seats?  What about going past the clock (timer), was that professional?  You used to cut people off when they did that but again this is about rules, and those rules apply to thee not me!  Have you always felt the rules don’t apply to you?  Ignoring the Mayor the one-time he said softly “okay bill, that’s enough” to lift your head and look at him “I have two more sentences” then I will be done in a scoffing tone, was that professional?   Nothing you did in those 6 minutes was professional sir! 

Bill Woodard: He continued calling out Thakur for mentioning his name at the November 4th meeting. He said, you were nowhere when that vote was taken in 2024.  While it may have been my last term and I may have requested to serve in the position, it was my colleagues that I had earned the respect of that allowed me to represent the city for my last year. It was an honor and privilege, and it was never about “me”.

Frisco Chronciles:  Well, Bill that is not true, it is always about you!  Even these six minutes at the pulpit – were about you.  You being heard, you being the bully, you appearing to be the man who was judge and jury of every person sitting on that council because you served.  I don’t see other previous council members and mayors coming out to the pulpit to scandalize the city.  No, it was and always is about YOU!

Bill Woodard: It was always about serving the city and the citizens. These positions should be earned through respect, knowledge and an ability to professionally represent the city in the absence of the Mayor.

Frisco Chronciles: Correct, and nothing you displayed at citizens input was about serving the city or the citizens.  Nothing you did that night at the pulpit was about respect, knowledge or showed any professional ability.  Clearly, you are never fit to be our Mayor so thank you for that recorded meltdown which can be aired on Reloop when and if you try to run in the future by your opponents.

Act IV – The Ending, Thank God!

Bill Woodard saved his best comments for the end.  He went on to say while some of my comments have been pointed, I do hope they are taken in the spirit they are intended to make our city better.  I’m not trying to be a referee blowing a whistle to call someone out. Our reputation in the region, the state, and nationally matter.

Frisco Chronicles Conclusion: Taking the time out of your day to come to a city council meeting with your best friend was not done with the emphasis to being a good steward.  It was done out of retaliation and anger.  The people of this city spoke and they selected new leadership fair and square.  You may not like that leadership and that is fine, but they better uphold the values they ran on to be transparent and bring change.  Why?  That is what THE RESIDENTS WANT!

What we learned from this display was your outrage was very selective towards two council members Jared Elad, our openly Jewish Council Member and Burt Thakur our first South Asian councilmember. You never stood up on the pulpit when these other incidents happened demanding the same professionalism from your counterparts.  DWI – no problem!  Cheating – no problem!  Appearing to be naked – no problem!    Shorts BAD! Bunny Ears BAD!   

Good heavens—Bill, my man—if we’re handing out lessons on professionalism, maybe start with the candidate who allegedly turned Family Swim Time into “Fifty Shades of Chlorine” or stood in the Rail District wearing nothing but boxers and a sign over his nether-regions encouraging the public to “get naked.”

Bill defended that, but suddenly shorts are the downfall of civilization.  Buddy… If pants length is where you finally draw the moral line, we need to schedule a wellness check.

Disclaimer: This blog includes satire, parody, and comic relief.  It contains summarized accounts created solely for humor and commentary.  Any resemblance to real events is either coincidental or intentionally satirical.  Reader discretion — and a sense of humor — are advised.