(The lights flicker, and the performing arts center goes dark. The drums begin to rumble like a storm and then with grand fury the curtains rise for the play to begin!)

ACT I: The Magnificent Mogul
(The lights come up on a grand stage.) Center spotlight, Mayor Jeff Cheney, dressed in regal attire, surveying his domain—the kingdom of Frisco. The backdrop is a glittering real estate billboard for the “Santa Barbara in The Preserve at Fields.” A chorus of Realtors hums disapprovingly in the background.
King Cheney (booming voice): Citizens of Frisco, behold! A paradise unlike any other! Luxurious living, exquisite homes, and of course, no conflicts of interest whatsoever! Just because I, the humble servant-mayor, also run The Cheney Group, doesn’t mean I would ever dream of using my influence to benefit my business! (The crowd murmurs)

ACT II: The Great Arts Debacle
(The scene shifts to the Frisco City Council Meeting, where they are about to vote on the Frisco Center for the Arts.) Tammany Hall takes to her microphone to welcome a band of concerned citizens, each holding a scroll of grievances to read at citizens’ input. King Cheney, now looking slightly less majestic, listens from his throne, pulls up his phone, and his fingers twitch over his social media apps.
Citizen 1: Your Majesty, why must we fund this expensive arts center when other needs go unmet?

Citizen 2: Will this benefit the people of Frisco, or just serve as another jewel in your town?

King Cheney (flustered, stands up): How dare you question my wisdom? Do you not see my vision? Only I know what’s best for Frisco! (Suddenly, a transformation begins)

Before the eyes of the audience, King Cheney shrinks, his voice becoming higher, more desperate. His regal robes stripped away, leaving him in a striped shirt, suspenders, and racoon hat.)

Tammany Hall (played by Tammy Meinershagen): Mr. Mayor, you are starting to look like a certain childhood bully – Scut Farkus. Cheney (looking for a mirror): Scut Farkus? Who… I demand to know who that is?

Tammany Hall responds: You know Mayor, the notorious tormentor from A Christmas Story.

ACT III: The Meltdown
Scut Cheney—er, King Cheney—now frantically types away on social media. His fingers fly over his phone, leaving a trail of desperate comments across every Frisco Facebook group and post related to the Frisco Center For The Arts. The doors from the back of the chamber open abruptly and running down to the stage is Steve Cone holding an article published in the Dallas Morning News.

Cone (shouts): “Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor, you have to read this, right now!” It’s so bad, Mr. Mayor, so bad! What do you want me to do Cone asks?”
Scut Cheney (frantically points to the audience): Listen to me! You’re all wrong! I know best! The arts center is my dream! You just don’t get it! WHYYYYY!?

(The citizens watch in bemusement. A few chuckles ripple through the audience. A small child tugs at their mother’s sleeve.)
Child: Mommy, why is the mayor crying and having a tantrum on the internet?
(The mother shrugs. The citizens shake their heads. The lights dim as Scut Cheney’s tantrum echoes into the void of the digital realm. The curtain falls to thunderous applause.)

Epilogue: As the audience exits, they are handed a complimentary “Cheney Group” brochure, because no matter how the play ends, the sales must go on. The End… or is it?